Funny One-Liners

1) Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The Soap-Free Soap With Soap

Impressively Stupid Warning Labels

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. (As opposed to…?)

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. (Well, damn. When am I supposed to do my hair now?)

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. (So you’re saying that if they’re on my shins, my elbows are not protected?! What the hell?!)

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. (I would most definitely hope so)

"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." (Really? It does? That’s so cool, man! I never knew that!)

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. (Look, people. Stabbing adults is perfectly fine. But children? Have a heart)

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. (Fun story: a man attempted to dry his kitten in the microwave, with bad results. He sued the microwave company for not stating in their manual that you weren’t supposed to do that. Microwave manufacturers worldwide have learned from this and now have included this vital piece of information in their instructions)

 "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. (We’re professionals. Do not try this at home)

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. (I’ll take extra special care the next time I pick up a plane)

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. (The accidents we could avoid if we would keep those 5 year olds with colds off of the forklifts)

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. (This is almost as good as Lanjarón, Spain, where it is illegal to die.)

"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. (Every time you see a seal on things like Pringles, you will think of this. I promise you, you will.

Soul Food: Kids Give Me Hope

Do you guys know that wonderful, inspiring website Kids Give Me Hope? Check it out - it's really like soul food. People just submit their little stories about how kids give them hope. To inspire you, I picked out a few of my favorites from the site.

Songs I Love: Nelly Furtado, Hurts, Akon

The third installment of the Songs I Love series. This time I'm bringing you three songs you probably all know, but they are still wonderful.

Nice Guys: Great Music Video

You can buy it on iTunes if you like it as much as I do :)

Create A Safer Password

Yeah, yeah, I know. You've heard this before: go create a nice, safe, hard-to-crack password - one for each site you occasionally visit. And then you respond with: what the hell? I can't remember all of those! And then you give up the whole thing.
Well, yeah. Obviously, something needs to be done, so I've gone ahead and tried to make you an easy guide for the whole thing.