Attractive, Living Men That Are Also Famous

Unless you've been in a coma for the last 4 months and just woke up an hour ago, you are well aware that the folks of People have named Channing Tatum Sexiest Man Alive 2012. They have a complete list of Sexiest Men Alive on their website. Let's not pretend you haven't already examined it.

You have seen this cover before.

A friend and I were doing our own scan of this year's list and found it to be a bit ... lacking. We have 2 major complaints: firstly, the entire thing is somehow called Sexiest Man Alive when it really should be called Sexiest Man Alive Who Is Also Very Famous Although As The List Goes On They Either Get Hightly Unknown or Highly Average Looking Because There Are Honestly Not 186 Incredibly Hot Guys Out There Whose Names Most Americans Know.
That brings us to the second problem: there are not an endless amount of dead sexy famous men that are still alive today. And the people behind People always have to bring new names, each and every year. Unfortunately, it's not like 50 stunningly attractive, chiseled guys have the decency to become household names in a year. That would be a lot of breakout stars.

But! My friend and I are not the sort to merely complain about a problem. We immediately sprung to action and labored an entire afternoon to give you the following list of At Least Somewhat Attractive and Definitely Famous Living Men Sorted by Hotness. There are 30.

Dress And Shoe of the Year 2012

It's the middle of December, and that means it's time for us Egos to crown the best dress and the hottest shoes of the year. Because this is our second year of doing this (check out the top dress and shoes of 2011 here), we've gone ahead and declared it tradition. Last year, our grand winners were Nina Dobrev in a Donna Karen stunner at the Emmys and a gorgeous pair of Valentino lace pumps.

So, this year. 2012.

Although it may feel like twenty-twelve wasn't the most exciting year for red-carpet glamour, everybody remembers our top pick for best dress. Personally, this is my favorite and so I'm thrilled to present you with


THE BEST DRESS OF 2012

 Gwyneth Paltrow in a stunning white ensemble at the Oscars. Quite possibly the only time a cape has successfully been worn on the red (purple-ish?) carpet and definitely one of the more interesting Oscar looks. The dress and cape are both Tom Ford.
Everybody I showed this thing agreed it was pretty and interesting and gorgeous and new. If you're a person who hates it and is reading this right now, please comment that and increase my statistical diversity.


Moving on...


THE BEST SHOES OF 2012

 These really pretty Giuseppe Zanotti heels won Best Shoes. I'm not sure why or how, but something about them appeals to me very, very much. You know, I was this close to picking something a bit more 'fierce' but then I thought, damn, I love these way too much.

So that's that. On a side note, notice how just the dress (without the cape) paired with the shoes makes for a wedding outfit. What does that say about us Egos?

Now what do you think? How horrible (or awesome? Maybe a bit awesome?) do you think this year's picks are? Will you perhaps get married in them? Be sure to leave a comment!

A Day In The Life Of

A Day In The Life Of by aleyexa featuring shiny pants

Printed Glam

Printed Glam by aleyexa featuring a nail lacquer

The Secrets of Women

The Secrets of Women by aleyexa featuring engagement wedding rings

Half Life: Full Life Consequences

If you haven't seen this one yet, you should. Full Life Consequences is a hilariously bad Half-Life fanfic you can read here, and below is the dramatic reading of chapter one, set to music and video.

Politically Correct Terms I

Note: the word "politically correct" is being used loosely here. All credit goes to: http://www.pagetutor.com/jokebreak/205.html

a woman.................a person of gender
actress.................actor
affliction..............condition
afro-american...........african-american
alien...................relative
alimony.................back salary
alive...................temporarily metabolically abled
angry...................passionate
animal trainer..........interspecies communicator
animals.................non-human beings
anti-abortion...........pro-life
argue...................share
argued..................shared feelings
arguing.................sharing
bad.....................different
bald....................comb-free
bald....................hair disadvantaged
ballboy.................ballchild
barmaid.................bar attendant
beautiful...............different
belief..................tentative inclination
bisexual................sexually non-preferential
blind...................visually challenged
blow one's nose.........deal with one's handkerchief
body odor...............nondiscretionary fragrance
book....................processed tree carcass
books...................processed tree carcasses
boring..................charm-free
boy.....................oppressor-to-be
boyfriend...............unpaid sex worker
broken home.............disfunctional family
brotherhood.............siblinghood
bum.....................displaced homeowner
cattle ranch............cattle concentration Camp
certain.................reasonably sure
certainly...............probably
certainty...............reasonable likelihood
chairman................chairperson
chicano.................person of color
cigarette smoking.......assault with a deadly weapon
clever..................different
closed..................somewhat unopen
clumsy..................uniquely coordinated
complain................share
conservative............reactionary
conservative............right wing extremist facist pig
convict.................ocially seperated
corpse..................nonliving person
crazy...................emotionally different
dead people.............disfunctional earth children
dead....................metabolically different
deaf....................aurally inconvenienced
deaf....................visually oriented
deformed................special
delicatessen............corpse farm
devil...................God's mischevious offspring
dirty...................consciousness expanding
disability..............special challenge
disabled................differently abled
disease.................condition
dish washer.............utensil sanitizer
dishonest...............ethically disoriented
disorganised............non-traditionally ordered
dog.....................canine companion
dominant................opressive
dominate................opress
dominated...............opressed
domination..............opression
doorman.................access controller
drooling drunk idiot....person on floor
drug addict.............chemically challenged
drunk...................spatially perplexed
dumb....................neuronically challenged
economically exploited..differently advantaged
egg ranch...............hen rapery
elderly.................longer living
european................Mutant Albino Global Minority
evil....................potentially good
false teeth.............alternative dentation
false...................seemingly not entirely correct
farmer..................exploiter of mother earth
farming.................exploiting mother earth
fat.....................stout
feminism................equitism
feminist................equitist
filthy..................consciousness expanding
fireman.................firefighter
fishing.................raping the oceans
foul....................challenging
freak...................gift from God
fur.....................dead animal skins
gang....................youth group
genius..................mentally different
ghetto..................pre-integrated pre-nirvana
girl friday.............assistant
girl watching...........street harassment
girl....................female person
girlfriend..............acquaintance rape survivor
girlfriends.............unpaid sex workers
girls...................young female persons
gorgeous................different
graffiti................people's art
grammar.................ethnocentric white patriarchal
restructuring
of language
great...................different
hairdresser.............hair stylist
hamburger...............seared mutillated animal flesh
hate....................dislike
hates...................dislikes
he or she or it.........h'orsh'it
he......................she
hearing person..........temporarily aurally abled
heir....................inheritron
heiress.................inheritron
heroine.................hero
heterosexual............blatantly heterosexual
history.................his'n'herstory
homeless................involuntarily undomiciled
homosexual..............gay
honey...................stolen nonhuman animal sweetener
hopeless................stepping stone
hostess.................host
housewife...............domestic engineer
housewife...............homemaker
humans..................human animals
hunter..................bambi butcher
hurricane...............himmicane
I.......................my humble self
ignorance...............alternative wisdom
ignorant................differently wise
illiterate..............alternatively schooled
illogical...............differently logical
immature................childlike
impaired................challenged
in fact.................seemingly
incompetent.............of different interests
inferior................different
inmate..................guest
inmates.................guests
insane people...........selectively perceptive
insolvent...............illiquid
intellect...............intuition
intelligence............intuition
intelligent.............intuitive
janitor.................environmental hygienist
jew.....................Jewish person
judge...................consider
junkie..................substance abuse survivor
kid.....................young person
kids....................young people
kinsmen.................kin
lazy....................of different interests
learning disability.....self-paced cognitive ability
leather.................dead animal skins
lesbian.................gynocentric be-ing
lesbianism..............gynocentric be-ing
liar....................a person creative with the facts
lie.....................constructive version of the facts
literary criticism......lit crit
logger..................treeslayer
lost....................temporarily misoriented
lover...................spouse equivalent
lovers..................spouse equivalents
lower classes...........downtrodden
lumberjack..............tree butcher 


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