My First Buffy The Vampire Slayer Episode ... Ever

Today I watched Buffy The Vampire Slayer for the very first time in my life. It was an experience, let me tell you.
I was busy being sick and feeling sorry for myself (and also randomly surfing around in the internet) when I though, hey, let's watch something. That something turned out to be Buffy.
And it was okay. (The it, by the way, was the very first Buffy episode from the very first season. It made enough sense to start at the beginning)
I thought, that by starting at the beginning, everything from the basic idea to the characters would be somehow explained to me. Isn't that always the way it is? Well, I was wrong. They do not tell you at the beginning that Buffy is a vampire slayer. I mean, okay, the title kind of tells you that much, but I mean details. The whole who-what-when-where-why-how thing. Information!
What they did tell you at the beginning was that it was Buffy's first day at a new school. They did not tell you why Buffy has that weird name of hers. They also did not tell you what year this played in. I had my doubts because of what Buffy was wearing. I mean, look at that shirt. Does any teen girl wear shirts like that in these days?

Okay, so it's unbuttoned and actually shows off some cleavage and seems tight enough (also she was wearing it with a miniskirt) but still. My point still stands.
Throughout the episode, some of that vampire slayer business is cleared up. You meet a mean girl (I forgot her name), a social outcast (I think her name was Willow), two guys who seem to be friends with Willow and are probably "losers" too, one of which has the hots for Buffy. You meet this freaky librarian guy who knows about Buffy and does not think it's cool she wants to quit being a slayer. (Yes, they say it like that. Also: you learn that Buffy wants to quit being a slayer)
Then Buffy goes to a club, randomly meets Willow, tells her that life is too short to be shy and very quickly regrets her advice because now Willow is going somewhere with a vampire guy, and that's never good.
Meanwhile, under the ground, there's a freaky yet familiar looking guy. I wanted to get a picture of him so you could go "oh my gosh where do I know him from" like I did but I couldn't find an image. Damn. Anyway, he's doing this chanting type stuff when this guy just rises up from a pool of blood (Yeah! Like that scene in Hellboy!) The Risen Man wants blood, for strength, I think, because there's some talk about him being strong for the harvest? Yeah.
In general, there's a lot of talk about The Harvest, whatever that is. Like this one random stalker guy who creepily gave Buffy a cross necklace and said something about The Harvest before she went to the club. And the weird librarian who is supposedly some kind of "watcher" mentioned it, too.
By the way, the loser guy who likes Buffy found out about her being a slayer. And yet her own mother doesn't know. Strange.
Okay. Back on track. Willow is with the vampire guy and, and so is the second loser, on he's with this vampire girl ... yeah. It's hard to explain. Both vampires are trying to get humans for the Rise From The Blood Pool Man to eat, I think.
Anyway, DANGER! And I won't tell you the rest in case you want to watch the episode yourself. Which you should, because Buffy the Vampire Slayer is pretty famous so you should have watched at least one episode. And you might as well start at the beginning so you can pretend you know what's going on and why.
That was my logic, too.

What I can tell you is that Buffy is badass. And I love badass characters.

Why Does Every Single Famous Person Bring Out A Perfume?

Avril Lavigne (whose last name I still don't know how to pronounce)
Katy Perry.
Beyonce.
Mariah Carey.
Justin Bieber (not only famous women create those scents)
Goddammit, even Gwen Stefani, Jennifer Lopez and Hillary Duff!

Why does every single famous person insist on bringing out a perfume? Why? Well, the answer is kinda obvious: money. They just write their name on the stuff and it sells like there's no tomorrow. Okay, sure, sometimes it even smells good (I like 'Heat Rush' from Beyonce), but usually the stuff is just plain weird.
Like Lady Gaga's perfume, Monster, which is coming out in 2012, which supposedly contains her freaking blood. This fact actually scares me away from the product, because who wants to spritz human blood onto themselves? Damn, I wouldn't even try it out on those little white strips they have so you can test all sorts of scents in stores. The idea is creepy. Very creepy.
This is the perfect choice for stalkers and fans. For me, it's somewhat terrifying.
Also, did you know that the product is supposed to contain semen and smell like it too? Well, at least that certain note won't overtone the entire scent, which is, as Lady Gaga herself says, expensive hooker.
The way we've always wanted to smell.

I'm somewhat afraid a person I know will buy and actually use the stuff. I don't think I'd ever think of them the same way again.

What do you think of the Eau de Blood, Semen, And Gaga? Would you try it? Would anyone you know try it? Will some human-rights organization come and be mad at all users, saying that they 'enjoy coating themselves in actual human blood'? Leave a comment!