Joseph Ducreux Memes

Our good old Joseph Ducreux, taking modern song lyrics and putting them into 18th century English ... or something that's close enough, anyway. For more of this meme, check out the link I have under my little collection of Websites of Awesome

Abduction - My Expectations

Today I'm going to watch Taylor Lautner's new movie Abduction with a friend of mine, because I love action movies and Taylor Lautner is a pretty good-looking guy. Anyway, this is the first part of my movie review. I actually haven't seen it yet, that's going to happen in  a few hours. But I've watched the trailer, so let's talk about what I think will happen.

So first, the trailer. Here it is:

So if you look at the cast (Taylor) you can tell that they're marketing to teenage girls with a taste for action movies. I will bet you that Taylor has at least 1 shirtless scene. But who's complaining?
Did you know that the girl is played by TAYLOR LAUTNER'S EX? Isn't that kind of awkward? Sure, it's their job to do stuff like that, but still. I'm convinced that the two will kiss in the movie. Remember the marketing concept : stuff that attracts young teenage girls?

So yeah. Check in later today for my review, which will probably be unfairly good because again, I love action movies and Taylor Lautner is good looking.
On a side note, it said on Rotten Tomatoes that, quote, "A soulless and incompetent action/thriller that not even a veteran lead actor could save, let alone Taylor Lautner". BUT: it also said that 47% of the audience liked it.
Which actually kind of makes sense. Half of the audience consisted of teenage girls that didn't really care that much if the storyline was excellent or not. I'm not saying all teen girls only went for Taylor's abs, I'm saying that quite a few only went for Taylor's abs.
Me somewhat included.
It's like this: it doesn't need a wonderful plot for me to like it. I liked Sex And The City 2 somewhat, while very aware of the fact that it was crappy. I did not like The King's Speech all that much, while aware of the fact that the acting was exquisite.

I'm convinced I'm going to like this movie a lot.

Dora The Explorer Just Got Awesome

Funny One-Liners

1) Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

The Soap-Free Soap With Soap

Impressively Stupid Warning Labels

"For external use only!" -- On a curling iron. (As opposed to…?)

"Do not use while sleeping." -- On a hair dryer. (Well, damn. When am I supposed to do my hair now?)

"Shin pads cannot protect any part of the body they do not cover." -- On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists. (So you’re saying that if they’re on my shins, my elbows are not protected?! What the hell?!)

"May irritate eyes." -- On a can of self-defense pepper spray. (I would most definitely hope so)

"Caution: Shoots rubber bands." -- On a product called "Rubber Band Shooter." (Really? It does? That’s so cool, man! I never knew that!)

"Please keep out of children." -- On a butcher knife. (Look, people. Stabbing adults is perfectly fine. But children? Have a heart)

"Do not use for drying pets." -- In the manual for a microwave oven. (Fun story: a man attempted to dry his kitten in the microwave, with bad results. He sued the microwave company for not stating in their manual that you weren’t supposed to do that. Microwave manufacturers worldwide have learned from this and now have included this vital piece of information in their instructions)

 "For use by trained personnel only." -- On a can of air freshener. (We’re professionals. Do not try this at home)

"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757. (I’ll take extra special care the next time I pick up a plane)

"Do not drive car or operate machinery." -- On Boot's children's cough medicine. (The accidents we could avoid if we would keep those 5 year olds with colds off of the forklifts)

"Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted." -- On a sign at a railroad station. (This is almost as good as Lanjarón, Spain, where it is illegal to die.)

"Do not eat if seal is missing." -- On said seal. (Every time you see a seal on things like Pringles, you will think of this. I promise you, you will.

Soul Food: Kids Give Me Hope

Do you guys know that wonderful, inspiring website Kids Give Me Hope? Check it out - it's really like soul food. People just submit their little stories about how kids give them hope. To inspire you, I picked out a few of my favorites from the site.

Songs I Love: Nelly Furtado, Hurts, Akon

The third installment of the Songs I Love series. This time I'm bringing you three songs you probably all know, but they are still wonderful.

Nice Guys: Great Music Video

You can buy it on iTunes if you like it as much as I do :)

Create A Safer Password

Yeah, yeah, I know. You've heard this before: go create a nice, safe, hard-to-crack password - one for each site you occasionally visit. And then you respond with: what the hell? I can't remember all of those! And then you give up the whole thing.
Well, yeah. Obviously, something needs to be done, so I've gone ahead and tried to make you an easy guide for the whole thing.