A Glass Is A Complicated Thing

Optimist – The glass is half-full.
Pessimist – The glass is half-empty.
Existentialist – The glass is.
Fatalist – The water will evaporate.
Futurist – The water is in the wrong half of the glass.
Feminist – All glasses are equal.
Narcissist – Look at me in the water!
Polygamist – The more glasses the merrier.
Nudist – The glass isn’t wearing anything. Why should I?
Baptist – The Lord in His infinite wisdom hast giveth us only half a glass of water for a reason!
Evangelist – The glass must repent.
Atheist – There is no glass.
Egoist – My glass is bigger than yours.
The Obsessive/Compulsive – There’s a smudge on the glass.
The Government – The glass is fuller than if the opposing party were in power.
Opposing Party – It is irrelevant because the present administration has changed the way such volume statistics are collected.
Republican – Hey, who drank half of my glass of water?
Anarchist – Break the glass.
Revolutionist – Dump the glass out and fill it again.
Socialist – Share the glass.
Capitalist – Sell the glass.
Corporatist – That glass is ours, and only ours.
Market Consultant – Your glass needs resizing.
Actuary – Personally, I think you paid too much for the glass.
Attorney – The glass is half-empty since it believes its compensation is never enough.
Psychiatrist – What did your mother say about the glass?
Psychologist – How does the water feel about the glass?
Philosopher – If the glass was in the forest and no one was there to see it, would it be half anything?
Sociologist – I don't know, but it was nice talking about it.
Engineer – The glass is twice as large as its necessary parameters.
Physicist – The cylinder is neither full nor empty. Rather, each half of the cylinder is full, one with a liquid, one with a gas.
Logician – Please define 'glass' more precisely.
Mathematician – I don't know if it's half-full or half-empty, but I can tell you an answer exists!
Combinatorialist – The task of choosing an arbitrary water molecule has been reduced to 2 subcases.
PC User – Let's restart it and maybe it will fill up this time.
Mac User – I swear! Apple invented water…or at least made it much better!
Linux User – I’ll turn the water back into oxygen and hydrogen, then take a glass cutter and cut off the top half of the glass. Finally, I'll recompile the water, then drink it…and eat the glass.
Microsoft – The rest of the water will be in the next release.
Pascal Programmer – Well, what type of water is it?
C Programmer – I drink straight from the tap.
Assembly Programmer – I drink straight from the river.
Multimedia Author – That glass is free; the next one you have to pay for.
Copyrights Protection Fanatics – Somebody drank my water and didn’t pay for it!
Free Software Foundation – The water is Nature’s gift to all mankind!
CIA – What makes you think that’s water?
NSA – We know what it really is.

All credit goes to:  http://www.physicsforums.com/showthread.php?p=2860102

FBI's Top Ten Most Wanted

Spoiler: there are actually only 8.

Awesome Quotes: Human Laws

Never retreat. Never explain. Get it done and let them howl. -Benjamin Jowett 

 Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. -Unknown

 When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane. -Unknown

 Most "How-to" instructions are languages not of this world. -Robert's Conclusion

 Trying is the first step towards failure -Slayer
 
No matter how great your triumphs or how tragic your defeats -- approximately one billion Chinese couldn't care less. -Lazlo's Chinese Relativity Axiom
 
It's morally wrong to allow suckers to keep their money.  -Canada Bill Jone's Motto

No matter where you stand, no matter how far or fast you flee, when it hits the fan, as much as possible will be propelled in your direction, and almost none will be returned to the source.- John L. Shelton

People who claim they don't let little things bother them have never slept in a room with a single mosquito. -Unknown

When a cat is dropped, it always lands on its feet. When toast is dropped, it always lands butter-side-down. I propose to strap buttered toast to the back of a cat, butter facing up. The two will hover, spinning, inches above the ground. With a giant buttered-toast/cat array, a high-speed monorail could easily link New York with Chicago. -Omni

 How long a minute is depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. -Unknown

 If no one uses it, there's a reason. -Unknown

 If you thought yesterday was bad, wait till you see what happens today. -Unknown

 If things appear to be going well, you have overlooked something. -Unknown

Note: all credit goes to coolquotescollection.com

Alright, So What Type of Headache Is It?

I get headaches. Presumably, I'm not the only person in the nation who deals with those babies on a regular basis, but ... damn. It's no fun (obviously, but still. Bear* with me here, please.) So whenever I get one of my headaches, I usually just pop some Ibuprofen and then go on with my day ... only to swallow the next tablet in a mere 2 hours, decide I've had enough drugs for the day and then rent a movie to watch in the evening.
Yes. The perfect coping strategy.
Only, no. It sucks. The real problem is that I get (milder) headaches often, and those can be fixed with a little medication. However. I can't swallow a pill every two days, now, can I? Second problem is that sometimes, I get headaches that seem to last forever and just won't go away, no matter what pain relievers I take.
Because of the obvious difference in the two "types", I've turned to the internet to figure this stuff out.
More precisely: I turned to this symptom-checker thing, which told me that I probably have migraines. Great. I googled "migraines", and Wikipedia told me this:

Migraine is a chronic neurological disorder characterized by moderate to severe headaches, and nausea.

Well, if that isn't great. I don't want any sort of chronic neurological disorder, mainly because the words chronic and disorder have never meant good things. So what do I do? I turn to denial. I can't possibly get migraines because I don't experience nausea. Yes. That's a good argument. And who ever said that my symptom checker was any good in the first place?
So if it's not a migraine, what is it? The next choice would be tension headaches (recently renamed tension-type headaches, for reasons unknown to me), whatever that is. I checked Wikipedia, and found all sorts of unhelpful this like  tension-type headache pain is typically mild to moderate, but may be severe, most common type of primary headache (note: there are primary headaches? Does that mean there are secondary ones, too?) and all sorts of other things that basically meant: if your head hurts, or any other body part for that matter, be it spine, back, eyes, really, nobody cares, so if it hurts in a constant-pressure sort of way, this is your "illness". There ya go.
So I think I'll just go with that, since these guys apparantly account for 90% of all headaches ever, so the chances I'm right are pretty high.

*yes, it's bear with me. I googled. Have I ever mentioned how often I google?

Cuteness: Baby Sloth Yawning

Oh ... my ... God ... I can't take all of this cuteness.

James Bond Tomorrow Never Dies Car Chase

This is awesomeness.

Dresses, Shoes, An Utter Lack Of Cash

I spent a good part of my day yesterday looking at shoes online, and since I am female you can guess what happened to me: I fell in love. I need to go out and do some serious shopping, I think.
Like I could ever afford those Louboutins anyway. Like I could walk in them.
But they're so pretty ... decidedly unfair.
Also, dresses. You know, dresses were never my thing all that much, but OH MY GOD SO PRETTY. I even went so far to create one of those Polyvore sets with it. There it is, in all its glory. Ignore the crap it says on the top - I had to justify its existence somehow and I decided making it for a fanfic was the way to go.

But! I will have you know that I have included an outfit for everybody. On the upper left, the white dress you see? Only $48 (mango.com). Yeah. Exactly. And the shoes that go with it? A mere $65, they're Steve Madden. Now, that makes for a stunning outfit at the delightful price of $113, which is almost something I'd be able to pay.

For the richer amongst us, the turquoise lace dress on the upper right goes for $2675 (matthewwilliamson.com). This is what's in the dress description:

"This beautiful, thigh grazing mini features a hand embroidered satin applique and cording detail and is finished with a scalloped edged hem. The youthful, Rainbow Lace dress offers a slim fitting silhouette, with invisible zip fastenings to the centre back and to the sleeves. This luxurious mini also features a detachable, tonal, silk slip with adjustable straps."

 Boom. The shoes are Louboutins, and therefore not cheap either. On the bottom right, we have a Herve Leger dress that goes away for $1160, and Giuseppe Zanotti shoes that will cost you $1040. Yes, friends. Those shoes cost one thousand dollars. You will never own them. (I'm sorry)
The pick for the half-wealthy would be one of the remaining three: The top middle outfit would cost a total of $480, the lower left one $520 and the lower middle one $859. It's worth noting that the shoes aren't the problem here, the dresses are the pricey babies.
Still. I want it all - everything. If only I were rich.

Lucy And Her Purple Dress

Hey guys! So I went ahead and discovered the wonder that is Polyvore. This is my first attempt at a set, so ... advice? Please?! Because I'm pretty sure I need it.

Anyway, this was made in regards to Taking Nothing On Faith, and pretty much shows what Lucy wore to her first three dates with Embry. Yes, I know that those dates aren't posted yet. Patience! It's a virtue, after all.